The Punisher: No Mercy Review

The Punisher: No Mercy is only $9.99! Now, I know what you’re thinking - how good can a $10 game be? Well, simple fact is the game isn’t that bad at all. Really, the only big problem I have is no local multiplayer mode, and that the filling in of textures seems to take a few moments every time you start a game. But the game overall looks smooth and is very well done. The different weapons to choose from aren’t gimmicked to hell but (unfortunately) the voiceovers are. I don’t think I’ve heard someone say “Mother-F’er” this much since Sam Jackson in the movie…well any movie he’s in. But again, it’s only $9.99!

Selling point aside (if you haven’t figured it out it’s only $9.99!) the game is a very fun arena first person shooter; the guns all have their advantages, and noobs have a chance on staying alive in online death matches, but more on that in a second. Out of the box…err right from the load screen, I do what any gamer does: click on Story Mode and have at it. I almost expect a game to always have some kind of tutorial system in first few missions but Frank Castle says “nay-nay no how-to for you Mother-Fer! You’ll have to find that out for yourself!" But the story presentation is very nice, though heed my warning: if you’re not an avid comic book fan, the story or who wrote the thing will mean nothing to you and you may hate the storyline no matter what I say.

The actual story and the character design for The Punisher: No Mercy was done by Mike Deodato, which explains the why that seems to be a nag in every review I’ve seen online. It’s a short story, but ties in the arena FPS aspect of the game rather well. The art (and voiceovers) on these cut scenes are pretty good, but seem to stray away from the actual design of the gameplay maps. I really didn’t have a problem with that. I was so focused on the art and the story that the background didn’t seem to matter; I just filled in end points myself. During the cut scenes the voice acting is superb, but in game it’s quite lame. You hear every line in the game within 30 seconds of playing, but personally it took me back to the days of Duke Nukem (The Punisher even used a line or two straight from Duke himself). The soundtrack for the game is good, but during long matches the song has to be repeated a few times, and you can hear the cut in the audio to restart the track.

All I can say about multiplayer in the game is that online it's one of the best I’ve ever played, but the lack of a local multiplayer mode really leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. As stated above, noobs can hop on and last awhile due to the system of in-game weapon upgrades, active and passive mods and simple controls which make the game really fun to play for all gamer levels. Even while losing in a team death match (like badly losing) I was having so much fun I really didn’t care. That’s a real hard quality for a game. One of the reasons I had a hard time during my (still ongoing) campaign with Resistance: Fall of Mankind was that I wasn’t having fun, so I had to turn the game off. But just Thursday night alone I played well into the night and was just giggling at how stupidly fun the game is. I really do like the game, but the fact there is no local multiplayer is the worst part of the game. It’s pretty hopeless unless you’re online; that’s where the game is worth all 200 nickels. Even to get new costumes and different weapons you need to play online, which is a drag but means you earn every bit of that crossbow.

So final call: It’s a good game and a great buy, but if you don’t have a steady online connection don’t bother. (if you do don't forget Battlefeild 1942 is a great buy too!)

Brandon Dyer

Backtracken...

One of the biggest complaints I hear about gaming today is the simple remark “remember when?” And I understand we all love the nostalgic essence of gaming’s past, be it Mario or Zelda, Final Fantasy or Metal Gear, or even Halo…or Halo 2. It’s gaming’s poetic past that sets up the future. More recently, I have even started to replay God of War I and II; I love the games, but I feel the need to refresh myself in the past adventure to fully illuminate the potential of GoWIII, and I don’t want to miss a beat of the biggest release to date on the PS3! (I’m not even like fanboy preaching here, it really is)

But after the first generation of PS3, to drop the price a bit, Sony stopped including the “Emotion Engine” chipset to their products. Seems logical as far as the industry goes – “let’s focus on new products and phase out the old” - but gamers and geeks (like me) hate the fact that something relatively simple and all around nice feature-wise as backward compatibility isn’t part of a system. To me, I feel I have spent “x” amount of dollars for years on this system and enjoyed it; now you have a new system, so I’ll get that now, but I don’t want that “x” amount to seem like it was totally useless now.

Here’s the funny part: I do indeed have a first generation PS3 so I use it to play games such as God of War, but I still own a lot of old systems too, and there is a certain glow about dusting off an old system and playing games on it. Just last night I played Mutant League Football and Comic Zone on my Sega Genesis and even had to hold back my glee when I finally found my copy of Echo the Dolphin. And I still own my PS2; I haven’t needed to bust it out yet, but I know one day will come when I do feel the urge to blow off the dust on it and I’m sure I’ll feel the same amount of joy as I did last night. But replace Echo with Twisted Metal: Black…come to think of it, I need to find that in my room…somewhere in there…

But let’s get to the point here. Sony has recently filed a patent that suggests to capability of making all, ALL, PS3s backward compatible with a simple firmware update. Not sure if it’ll be as powerful as the chipset, but it’s a nice thing to toss in. It may not receive a huge ovation from PS3 owners around the world…more like a “sweet” from the handful of people that actually read the update notes. Even myself, one whom considers himself to be “in the loop” with things like this found out Sony’s intentions via IGN. But really the point here is look how cool Sony is, thinking about the consumer even if it means taking a step back...EAT IT APPLE! (Sorry I now have a monthly quota for Apple bashing…I am behind from the previous two months so I apologize for any inconvenience I may cause in the following statements:) WHY WOULD I, AN EDITOR, THINK THAT BEING ABLE TO EDIT VIDEO ON A CELL PHONE IS GOOD THING!? I LIKE MY JOB AND MY PAYCHECK! ALSO, WHY ARE YOU CHARGING THE PEOPLE THE COST OF A WHOLE NEW PHONE JUST TO BE ABLE TO RECEIVE PICTURES?! MY FOURTH GENERATION NOKIA COULD DO THAT! EVEN NEXTEL CAN PULL THAT OFF! (Again I apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused; I am now set for rest of the month of July. Thank you.)

Brandon Dyer

Superhero Crush…

So, as Comic-Con nears I feel as if I need to come clean. First off, I do enjoy Final Fantasy VII; it takes a lot for me to admit that. Don’t’ get me wrong, I still hate the subculture, creepy kids with bleached blond hair with giant swords…just no. But I did download FFVII from PSN last week and I remember why I loathed it so much…it’s so much fun that I lose track of time. (I also picked up Resident Evil, so very great!). Aside from that I do have one more thing to admit to the masses: I’m in love.
Yes, I know that I’m engaged, but I have talked about my love of another with my fiancé and she understands. Well, she doesn’t “understand” but she does know about it. It’s funny because it wasn’t until a chance meeting at the 2009 Comic-Con that I decided she was the woman for me.


I have a crush on Power Girl. I know, I know, she’s a geek icon, and I have no chance in hell, but just one date with Power Girl - that's all I'm saying! Just one night of bowling, maybe a movie, I know a great little place with the best pizza! Or, we can be friends if you choose! Just chill out at my pad for a while playing some Guitar Hero: World Tour, then head to the JLA and play some Scrabble! We could talk the night away, share secrets and you can help me hook up with Supergirl or Batgirl! It’s a win-win baby!

Brandon Dyer

Game Rental Services (online edition)

There’s no big online secret about Gamefly.com; it’s the largest and, by many standards, the best video game rental service (online) there is. But most just click on it and subscribe without any thought of just why they are the best.

There are actually four other game rental services available online (maybe more, but these are the ones I would trust): Gamerang, Gamemine, GottaPlay and RentZero. All have their flaws and their advantages.

Gamerang is a solid second; good “Q” system and webpage design, but the price per game is outrageous. One game a month is $17.95!!! The good news is you will most always get the newest game, no wait. Mostly because you’re paying $18 a month and no one else seems to be.

Next is GottaPlay, from the most expensive to the cheapest - $12.95 per month! W00T! But…they’re pretty bad about new releases. For example, InFamous isn’t even on the site yet…so you’re gonna wait for new stuff.

RentZero rocking a $13.95 price tag isn’t bad, but say you want older game, say God of War. You may need to just walk down to the Game Stop. Not a bad service, but as far as I can see the distribution house (ya I think it’s just one) is gonna keep you waiting for the mail man.

Last is Gamemine. Now they too rock the $12.95, but if you think GottaPlay suffers from backlog and no new releases, Gamemine just got Spiderman: Web of Shadows.

So let’s talk about Gamefly. The best thing about the service is first off it’s the middle of the road for price - $15.95 - and sometimes you’ll suffer from wait-insanity, but it’s rare to see your #1 pick dropped back more than an month. They have lots and lots of distribution houses, so it’s never more than a day or two wait for Mr. Mailman/woman. HUGE selection!!! Never seen so many games, even ones maybe you never heard from. Back in the day this was the only place to rent Katamari Damacy! Also they do a great job of reviewing the game; not just a copy and paste review, you can really tell they spend a good amount of time playing and work out the flaws in the game. Also, my favorite part, if you’re playing a game you rented and decide “Hey this is full-blown LOVE,” most games you can grab for a cheap price! Say you wanted SoulCalibur IV…$21.99. That’s better than most strip mall gaming stores; they ship the box to you and you get your next game in your “Q!”

For the record, I was a Gamefly member long ago, like when they first started. Stopped because I was broke….sad. But I’m back now after looking around the web for myself. Figured I’d pass the info along! So, if you’re looking for a video game, but just aren’t committed enough to give your heart to a game…rent and enjoy and return when you’re ready.

Brandon Dyer

For What It’s Worth!

PS3….laughed at in America, but feared and loved in Japan!

X-box 360… feared and loved in America, laughed at in Japan!

See, this is what I deal with all day. Do I listen to the fanboys or do I side with the technical? Do I point out the obvious flaws or do I poke pinholes into the “only happens 1 time in a million” mishap? See it’s hard; I would love to say that I, myself, am a true journalist, pointing out both sides’ arguments, taking no side whatsoever, but honestly I can’t. I own a PS3, never had a problem and love it. I have friends who own an X-Box and had to get it replaced a few times (before and after the “overheating” issue). And I even have a friend that is wealthy enough to own both…he’s useless.

But what if I did a true, 100% middle ground blog? …never gonna happen but I’ll give it a shot…cross your fingers!


Sony’s PlayStation 3

·First? Well, it’s not as revolutionary looking as the PS2 was, looks about the same just “Apple-ised” (or is it iThemed?).

·Next, it’s pricey, has a Blu-Ray player but really if you’re not rocking HD, who cares!

·Its online system is lackluster; like Sony, (it) asks the game developers to make the game online compatible, and then tells them to be in charge of it. Like it’s an added on feature.

·The controllers are expensive.

·When the system needs an update you need to do that before anything.

·Home is dumb.

·If you don’t own a PSP you don’t care about “remote play” or using your PSP as an extra game extension like in Formula One Championship Edition - you can use it as a rearview mirror.

·You don’t have to worry about the “Live” bills each month to play online.

·It’s wireless out of the box so you don’t have to get in your car to back to BestBuy or Walmart and pick up the wireless connecter.

·It’s full 1080i, so if you have a HDTV it looks better than a tall glass of water in the middle of the desert.


X-Box 360

I was going to write this, but as soon as they heard someone was bashing their product, Microsoft tossed money at me so just like all the problems “I am expecting an update to fix” this blog…I’ll get back to you.

But I do know for sure your X-Box Live money is going to good use…



J Allard is not fighting crime as PLASTIC-please don’t overheat-MAN!

Batman sues…Batman?

This isn’t a new story but a definitely good one. A few months ago, the city of Batman, Turkey decided to take back what was rightfully theirs from the Caped Crusader…the name Batman?!

If you haven’t heard this story it’s quite ridiculous. Basically, the largely oil-producing town of Batman, Turkey was looking into suing Batman Begins and The Dark Knight director Christopher Nolan and distributor Warner Brothers, claming the studios had been using the name “Batman” without the permission of the city. Furthermore, the mayor placed blame on the film for a “number of unsolved murders” within the city and that the “psychological impact” from the film’s success generated a “high female suicide rate” among the Batman-ians(?).


Sweet subtext to the story: the city of Batman, which is the shortened name of Bati Raman Mountians, lies on the Batman River! THE BATMAN RIVER!!! That’s so cool!!! I wonder if Superman or Green Lantern has a town, let alone a river. Or is it Supi Semana and Lagrene Erlantn?


All jokes aside, if you look back at the city’s history you’ll find that it really wasn’t a city at all until the 1950s when oil companies moved in and the city started to grow. Before that it was just a simple village. But as we all know the Dark Knight (Batman as in Batman and Robin or Batman Forever) first appeared in Detective Comics #27 in May of 1939! Well…we all “should” know that. But my point is that Batman (superhero) may have been named prior to Batman (city). Oh, and the little fact of his name is based on WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE!!! BAT-MAN! HE’S A MAN THAT LOOKS LIKE A BAT! BATMAN!

But other than that, I highly doubt that either Bob Kane or Bill Finger traveled though Turkey in the 1930s to find a small village near the southeast border…it was the 1930’s! Both Kane and Finger where very well know to be Jewish Americans. I’m going to assume that both would avoid southern Europe like the plague, and Batman wasn’t even on a map at that point. So yeah, I’m calling “Ninja Bullshit” on this one.


Here’s the real skinny on Batman (city). The city is now faced with a high level of unemployment (what city isn’t?) but the city is also the home to many Turkish state officials. They want the city to undergo a load of renovations to become a major tourist attraction. Just search around the official website of Turkish Culture and Tourism Office, click on Destinations, then click on South East Anatolia on the map and then click the city of Batman!! On there you can get the total population of Batman (which in 1990 was 344.669…wait how the hell is it 344 and .669 of a person?). You can even get some sites of interest, like the Camiü'r Rızk or the Hızır Bey Mosque whatever the hell those are. But Turkey sure is proud of Batman, even got a sweet 300 person concert hall! Even Metallica is willing to work with that!


So as my story drifts off into the ramblings of a geek with nothing going on this week, the city of Batman ended up never suing Christopher Nolan or Warner Brothers. First off, neither of them gave Batman his name, and second if people like me are that bored to search the internet just to call out “Ninja Bullshit!” on a simple city in need of some fast cash, then hopefully so is some European layer.


But hey, before we go here’s another fun quote from Batman mayor Huseyin Kalkan…you know it would have been better if his name was Theodore Cobblepot…other acceptable names are as follows: Fiorello H. LaGuardia, Mayor Hayes, Mayor Thorndike, Hamilton Hill, Julius Lieberman, Armand Krol, Marion Grange, Daniel Danforth Dickerson III, David Hull, Charles Chesterfield, Aubrey James or Mayor Giordano from the alternate future via Batman: The Dark Knight Strikes Again…yes, I have too much time on my hands…but Mayor Huseyin said “There is only one Batman in the world!”


Brandon Dyer

BREAKING GEEK NEWS!!!!

Marvel vs. Capcom 2 Confirmed!!!!!

Tomorrow on PSN you can download a demo for the much loved arcade classic for FREE!! And the full game (online play and all) will drop soon!!!!!! That's right no more saving to buy a used copy for $150 on Amazon! $14.99!!!!

I AM SO HAPPY!!!!!!
REALLY I AM GOING TO CRY!!!!
TOO...MUCH....GEEK...

Brandon Dyer